10 years ago and now. What is better?

Hands holding good and bad

Ten years ago and now. What is better?

Where were you 10 years ago – and where are you now? I don’t necessarily mean the location – although this might have a major impact on you, too, and how life is going today.

Can you see yourself back then? What did you do, think, or feel? What were your moods, your worldviews, your ideas about yourself, your past and your future? How did you consider life? Was it worth living, a joy and positive experience? or a dreadful dragging ahead with fears, duties and pressures on your back?

Where I was 10 years ago

a balloon in form of a heart flies away. a child sends it away
Good bye love and marriage

10 years ago I came to the painful understanding that my third marriage needed to be broken, urgently, and that I had to change a lot of things in myself: expectations, ideas, assumptions and the way of handling myself and others. A complete UPDATE was due.

Talking about computers: It was the year when I could access the internet in a consistent way, the beginning of a completely new world where assumptions could easily be proofed true or false and tons of information were available with one click – so to speak.

When the world began to change

The “one click” revealed as a long learning curve which now, after 10 years, hasn’t diminished, but increased, I should say. In the first years I just did the absolute minimum online, emails, some websites, youtube. Most of my time I still spent growing veggies and taking care for my huge property, enjoying the fresh air, the movement and my physical strength.

6 Years ago I began to subscribe for online programs, did my counseling school online, typing and listening to audios, still movements during the day. My first website was up, I had learned to insert text every now and then, no big deal. Useless to say that hardly anybody really responded to it.

Screenshot of our homepage
The Power of Relationship website – lost and reconstructed

3 years ago a new huge website was needed for a new topic, lots of money spent, lots of time passed trying to understand the process and telling my webmaster what to do – he regularly didn’t understand me. Well, I had not really any idea about website construction and how things work, so how could he understand what I meant.

The new world requires continuous learning

Now: I am learning to do everything myself. I have understood that others who I pay for curating the websites don’t really care if there is SEO description or not, for instance. I didn’t know about that stuff and that it was needed. Now I do – and I learn. Vegetable garden? abandoned. Movement? eh, sometimes bike rides and walks, but not the whole day up and down the hill, as it was before. Strength? not anymore in the arms, more in the fingers from continuously hacking on the keyboard.

The more I learn the more I understand how little I know and how much there is still to learn. In many ways, it was better 10 years ago when I didn’t care about being findable on the Internet. Then I had relaxed shoulders (good), a quiet mind (good) and fresh veggies (very good). Today, well, the world has opened up (good and bad), I am in contact with many (good, as long as they are not too many -which is the case). Means “bad”? Not really. Writing in English and here (good), feeling often overwhelmed (bad), too much to keep in mind (not good) and so on and on….

How can we know what is REALLY good or bad before we see the bigger picture? BAD? or, GOOD? or WHAT?

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This article was first published in August 23. 2016 on branded.me

Addition below from January 23rd 2017

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It was the day before the first earthquake in Italy took place which killed 300 people. From then on my world has dramatically changed.

I have lost my faith in science and public institutions – completely.

    • Why? – it began with realizing that there were warning signs and people who talked about it – and nobody listened to them. The person I am following since then called “Dutchsinse” was trashed and hindered to speak up, literally shut down, many times, on Youtube.
    • I had believed that Google was a different enterprise with higher ethic standards as most of the big ones, where freedom of speech is valued. Nada, Youtube is Google, and whenever something important happens regarding earthquakes, the live stream of Dutchsinse goes down. I witnessed it more than 10 times, the last one 2 days ago when a 8.0 earthquake hit in the West Pacific, and last week when we had 5 very strong earthquakes here in Italy.  
    • The official services of the USA, Italy, but also the European Earthquake reporting service don’t report reliably what is going on. The data gets manipulated or deleted. How can that be? Scientific data – I believed – would be available for research, completely, and not picked by political or other considerations. I grew up with the belief that science would be searching for the truth and be as objective as possible. This belief is completely shattered – actually, it was already before when I first listened to the banned Ted Talk by Rupert Sheldrake about “the science delusion”:

It is a different thing when you just hear about these things and when you see them happen in front of your own eyes. I definitely was shocked to my bones!

  • The next big shock: Do you have any idea how much we are ruining our earth – just for getting fossil energy? Well, I didn’t, and I am sure you don’t, either. I had heard about fracking, but I downplayed it a little, hoping that it wouldn’t be soooo bad after all. But it is even WORSE than I ever could have imagined.
  • They have drilled hundreds of thousands of holes into the earth crust, many states of the US are packed with oil and gas operations – and waste water deposals. Highly toxic liquids are buried into the drill holes – and when shaken by earthquakes the poison floats freely into water reservoirs and wherever.
    Fracking in Los Angeles - La Cienega Blvd goes right through the extraction area. All the blank areas are filled with pumps and wells. In the middle of the city!
    Fracking in Los Angeles – La Cienega Blvd goes right through the extraction area. All the blank areas are filled with pumps and wells. In the middle of the city!

    Thanks to Google Earth you can SEE all the drill points with your own eyes, square kilometers after square kilometers, even right in Los Angelos and near Santa Barbara – where people think to live a wonderful life…… They are sitting on a powder keg! 

  • The next shock, for me, was the election of Trump as the new American President. A person who denies climate change and the dangers of what is done for extracting fossil energy. A man who humiliates women, who reinforces patriarchal power dominance and who plays with money and with people in his own egocentric way. Truly not the person we need for the change which is so badly needed for the survival of us all on this planet.

This article started out with the question: What is better, ten years ago or now. I am almost tempted to say it was then, because of the many shocks I had to face when learning about what is REALLY going on in the world. The illusionary dream of “everything will work out well”, the new age belief in the new era which will be highly spiritual and evolved, this dream has given way to an abrupt awakening into reality. It is painful, but certainly better than the ignorance in which I lived – and in which most of us are living. 

Hands holding good and bad
Embracing everything – becoming aware and doing what needs to be done

Shocks can be beneficial. Yes, the paradise is lost, again (as so many in my life and in yours, too, I guess). But now, when we begin to see clearly, we begin to know what we have to address, what we can work for, what our task is in our life here on earth.

Mine, for sure, is taking a stand, come out of invisibility and speak up against everything which destroys life, and to work for the evolution of consciousness in all people. Only the awareness of what is happening and the re-connection to our human values of life, love, and happiness can bring us further into the emergence of a world which is good for all beings.

If you want to know more about what we are doing – and where you might want to collaborate: visit our website TheWisdomFactory.net

 

 

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